Below is the traditional Yom Kippur message and I find that I cannot post it with a clear heart. “To those I may have wronged…” but what if those people wronged me first?
I make an effort to not offend the innocent. If I perceive that I have come across as insensitive or offense, I apologize immediately. I have absolutely no problem accepting responsibility for my actions, even if my error was unintentional.
No, I struggle this year because those who are angry at me were supposed to be allies but they sided with a criminal who swore that he would make me die day by day. This was over a year ago and I believed that I had left that situation behind. The issue refuses to go away.
The criminal was exposed and he deactivated his account. He ran but his minions and other fake accounts remain. I had warned him, back on January 2016, that I saw what he did to women and that I would report him to the FBI, if I ever got proof. Of course he denied it.
I tested him, I went along with his game and loaned him money. He re-payed his debt to me but I would have nothing to do with him again.
While I had tried to protect the patriots against him, they worked with the criminal to have my account suspended. They blocked me out of groups, slandered me and scared people against befriending me. They chose to believe a foreigner, whose identity they could not verify, over a US Army veteran.
I have a VA rating for PTSD in addition to injuries. I absolutely loved the Army and always felt pride to be able to defend this country and protect its citizens. The Army didn’t give me PTSD – people in the Army did.
Over two decades ago, I stood by myself when everyone turned their backs on me. I drove myself to the hospital, in labor and then raised my son by myself. No “live-in boyfriends” nothing – truly by myself. Stubbornness and faith carried me through.
Last year’s Twitter situation reminded me of those years and brought a lot of sadness back. Worst part was to see how the criminal used my rating against me and Patriots agreed with him. I was called “mentally unstable” I have a rating of PTSD, for goodness sake, do you think people get that because they’re happy all the time?!? Of course I’m going to have a nervous breakdown in my past!! I may write about how that happened sometime.
The point is that I cannot ask forgiveness from people who hate me because I did not die or I did not go away. The criminal is back under another account and he is moving to try to befriend Patriot females. Remember that man scammed women of several thousand dollars.
The insane, truly stupid thing is that those who supported him before continue to try to turn people against me. They have looked for anything to criticize me, such as, at one time I posted rock music, then switched to Jewish music – I’m on a journey…I’m learning…I’m discovering…I am not a boring person, deal with it.
So…here is my Yom Kippur 2017 message:
To those who took actions against me, if you are still angry or fearful, may I suggest you look into a mirror to find the source. I wish you luck. When I raised my hand, many years ago, I swore to uphold the Constitution and protect you. The oath does not require me to put up with your crap.
To the rest of you, please forgive me when I have come across as careless, my “drive-by” group visits, or failure to express gratitude for your friendship.
To those I have helped, I wish I could do more.
To those who have helped me, may G-d shower you with blessings. Your support means a lot to me.
To those I could not help, please forgive me, I’ll try to do better.
G’mar Hatimah Tovah.
Yom Kippur Without Guilt, On Memory, Remorse and Returning: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3793398/jewish/Yom-Kippur-Without-Guilt.htm